Change [part one]: Two Sides to the Coin

I have a tumultuous relationship with change. The usual modus operandi of Amy is to shy away from change, to resist forward movement with all my being, and cement my feet into the spot I am in. I settle for the long term.

However, there are other times when I forge ahead. Run into places where angels fear to tread. Make seismic shifts in my lifestyle and big decisions without over-analysing the situation beforehand.  This from the woman who takes ten minutes to decide between muesli and porridge for breakfast. Yep.

After a few big changes in my life over the past twelve months (some by choice, others most definitely out of my control), and some serious mental work to get through them and out the other side; I decided that I want to understand my relationship with change. Whether I like it or not, life is going to keep advancing, bending and flexing in different directions. Arthur Schopenhauer said ‘change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal’. I want to be able to adapt to the inevitable changes in my life. To move with and through each change healthily. To treat change as an opportunity rather than a threat.

To live a thoroughly nourished life I believe it is essential to seek the areas in your life that require extra encouragement to thrive. To feel out the dormant roots and foster them to grow. This growth might be painful, in fact in most cases it will be, but persistence and passion are rewarded with the sweetest fruits of labour: a life authentically yours.

Over the next few weeks I will be tackling each stage of change (in the uber sexy sounding transtheoretical model of change), and looking at how I can approach each stage in a healthy manner. What I need to do, ask, say, and act out, in order to make the most of change opportunities to grow my life, while remaining true to myself.

Dear readers, how do you approach changes in your life? Do you feel that you have a healthy relationship with change, and dealing with what comes about in your life?

7 thoughts on “Change [part one]: Two Sides to the Coin

  1. I am facing lots of changes that have been thrust upon me. My divorce, inevitable due to my husband’s addiction to alcohol and his continue descent into a life that is out of control. I have lost everything and the fear of what to do next has paralyzed me at points. It’s the unexpected change or the unwelcome change that I have the most challenge with. Like you, I am fighting to welcome it and see it as an opportunity and not a something negative in my life. xo

    • I am sorry to hear the challenges you are facing Debby. There are moments in life that are sent to challenge us, changes that we have to face that are unexpected, and in those lie the greatest lessons. I am inclined to fight it and see the negative sometimes too. My Dad always says ‘just do the next thing, what’s the next thing Amy?’ and remembering that any little step forward is a step toward a better tomorrow helps me just to get up some days when I am having a hard time. All of my best to you Debby, and lots of love.

  2. Change is so tough for me as well. But I think I often look back on the experiences I have had when I didn’t want change but then encountered unexpected growth as the result of the change. so when faced with new change ahead I try to channel past experiences and remember “there may be something really great in store for me on the other side of this change…but I gotta be willing to face it to get there!”

    • Thanks Julia, such an important thing to remember – there is something wonderful on the other side of the change, we just need to show up in our lives, and be wiling to face the change, in order to enjoy the other side 🙂

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  4. I deal badly with change unfortunately. I’m someone who, like a lot of people, have undergone quite a lot of change in the past few years and have found it really difficult. But what are you going to do?! We have to keep going and look at the good things, or try to. I hope things go well for you (and Julia and Debby above).

    p.s. I love that photo!

    • Thanks Emma. I’m lucky that most of the changes I have been through are good, and that there are so many blessings in my life that I can’t help but see the good 🙂

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